Half Crazy

I knew the song existed. I mean, I first heard Musiq's "Half Crazy" forever and a day ago....it's on my mp3 player and everything. But somehow, when I was trying to figure out what song my current situation reminds me of, I couldn't remember....Now I remember. "Half Crazy." This song epitomizes my fears about this situation. Oh God.......No one except people who have dated me knows just how easy it is for me to screw a relationship up. Not by doing the typical stuff (cheating, lying, flirting too much, being inattentive), I mess relationships up by caring too much. And yes, caring too much CAN be a problem. Especially when the person you're caring about isn't able to show it in the same manner you do. I will admit that some of the people I've cared about didn't care about me the same way I cared about them. But hey, I'm young. That's the kind of crap that happens to most of us young people on a pretty regular basis. I can also admit that ther have been people who have cared about me a great deal, but I didn't feel the same way about them. You really can't help how you feel about someone, which is why I've chosen not to be angry or bitter about the people who didn't care about ME as much as I did about THEM.

Yeah, that was kinda confusing, but I'm complicated like that :-)! Anyway, in my experience, wheneer you first start talking to someone, everything is really good because you're learning about each other and trying to put your best foot forward. But if things click between you, feelings begin to develop. And that's where the problems begin. Feelings make things so much more complicated than they have to be. Feelings can make you bite your tongue, or make you start telling EVERYTHING. That easygoing feeling you once had, has changed....it's been replaced by love, concern, worry, anger, possibly jealousy, and conflict caused by miscommunication. I'm not sure I'm ready to go there again. I don't want to ruin an excellent friendship trying to find a good relationship. Patience is what I need....where I'm going to find it; well, that's another story....