IDK...

Well, I'm just sitting at work on this gorgeous Monday morning....wising I was back in my bed. Just had an early mornng conversation with a pretty cool person. So silly. But sweet. And seemingly sincere. Anyway, I went slightly MIA this weekend....I went to Carowinds Saturday with a pretty big group and had a pretty good time. After I got back, I was tired, but I couldn't go to sleep, so me and my home girl went to visit a new friend before I took her home. Another pretty cool person. Idk. I'm feeling kind of....iono....nonchalant I guess. And I really shouldn't be feeling like this. I'm still going through withdrawal from someone, someone else has disappointed and confused me again, then there are these two "pretty cool" people.

(sigh) I just really don't know. I guess the two new cool people are supposed to help me feel better, but I'm not sure if I need to feel better. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe some of what I'm going through is necessary for my growth. I've been advised to do me and actually let my heart do all the decision making. That's how I ended up in this place. Letting my heart control things. In the past, my heart has 1) Allowed me to forgive and continue to condone behavior that seriously hurt me 2) Allowed me to fall for someone who has the maturity level of a 13 year old 3) Allowed me to pursue things that my head knew would come to no good. My heart cannot be trusted with this situation that is so important. My heart doesn't analyze things nearly as much as it should before it allows me to act. In time, maybe I can let my heart have some freedom to lead me, but for right now, for my sanity and that of others, my mind needs to run the show.

Just To Let You Know

So much has been said.
Too much has been shared.
Things between us quickly grew mythical...
And just a little bit spiritual.
Our words may sound a little lyrical,
But we wanted the metaphors to be a little more literal.
Is it time to let it burn?
Was this just another lesson to learn?
(sigh) Who knows?
But just to let YOU know,
Everything was beautiful.
Nothing was taken for granted,
Even if this was just a sample.
It's a taste I can't help but savor
And I pray that it will linger.
This says so much,
But somehow, it's not enough.
Words are failing me again....
My mind refuses to be my friend...
Do I feel better? No.
But I really just had to let you know.

Summertime: Pt. 4

A screech of tires on an almost dry street. That's all some bystanders heard. "It happened so quickly." Good samaritans sprinting to the crushed metal that used to be a car. Trying to see if the occupant was ok. Policemen. Firemen. Paramedics. All trying to do their jobs. The police, directing traffic. The paramedics waiting....Waiting for the firemen to bring in the Jaws of Life....hoping it wouldn't turn out to be the Jaws of Death. As the top of car was pried away from its lower half, an unmoving figure slowly came into view. No one moved. Because the blood rushing from her forehead was much less disturbing than the look of pain on her face. After what seemed like hours, but was only seconds, the everyday heroes came back to life and went about the business of saving a life. And in the commotion that followed, the cell phone the woman held slipped from her grip and onto the floor of the car.

well

Not sure when I'll post again. Should be soon, but it might not be. Nothing else to say right now. Later.