Well, I'm just sitting at work on this gorgeous Monday morning....wising I was back in my bed. Just had an early mornng conversation with a pretty cool person. So silly. But sweet. And seemingly sincere. Anyway, I went slightly MIA this weekend....I went to Carowinds Saturday with a pretty big group and had a pretty good time. After I got back, I was tired, but I couldn't go to sleep, so me and my home girl went to visit a new friend before I took her home. Another pretty cool person. Idk. I'm feeling kind of....iono....nonchalant I guess. And I really shouldn't be feeling like this. I'm still going through withdrawal from someone, someone else has disappointed and confused me again, then there are these two "pretty cool" people.
(sigh) I just really don't know. I guess the two new cool people are supposed to help me feel better, but I'm not sure if I need to feel better. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe some of what I'm going through is necessary for my growth. I've been advised to do me and actually let my heart do all the decision making. That's how I ended up in this place. Letting my heart control things. In the past, my heart has 1) Allowed me to forgive and continue to condone behavior that seriously hurt me 2) Allowed me to fall for someone who has the maturity level of a 13 year old 3) Allowed me to pursue things that my head knew would come to no good. My heart cannot be trusted with this situation that is so important. My heart doesn't analyze things nearly as much as it should before it allows me to act. In time, maybe I can let my heart have some freedom to lead me, but for right now, for my sanity and that of others, my mind needs to run the show.
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