Just some thoughts

For some strange reason, I have a tendency to focus on the wrong people. Wait, it's not a strage reason at all...it's because I'm scared. See, I focus on and try to build friendships/relationships with people who aren't on the same wavelength as I am. But the people who understand me are the people that I put my guard up around. I think I do that because they will be able to see through all the walls, facades, and sarcasm that I have constructed around myself and made into the public Michelle. It's funny how you know exactly what you want, but when you're presented with it, you don't accept it. You restrain yourself. Or at least that's what I do. It's one of my many character flaws....It's been said that "you have not, because you ask not," but what happens when you ask and you get it, but you throw it away? Yeah....I don't know either, but I'm going to be real transparent right now: I made a decision that I didn't want to make, and that doesn't sit well with me. I don't know if it was the best decision, and past experiences have me wondering whether or not it will stick. And just between me, you, and the rest of the blogging world, I _______ _______ _ _____ __ __. Yeah.....